Potty learning.

I hear you! We want to go through this potty learning at once and say goodbye to all messy diapers and pull-ups. But, please wait.
There are some special signs that children and parents should have before stepping to potty learning.
Check on the positive answers to the following questions regularly and if the answers to most of them are yes, then go for potty learning.

1- Are you (yes you - the caregiver) ready to patiently accompany the child through this process?
2- Yes, you heard it right. It is a time consuming process. It does not happen over one week (as you might hear from some caregivers). In order for the child to have a positive, long lasting relationship with their body and toilet, the skill should build up over time. So, please be patient.
3- So, the next question is, would you have the time, energy and patience for the next couple of months? Remember you might want to reconsider the timing if you have planned a vacation, the new baby or going to change jobs/home.

Ok. You got it. You answered all of the above questions satisfactorily and you want to go for it. Now, what is the first step?

Have you seen the signs that your child is ready physically and emotionally?

• they tell you when they pee and poop
• they do not like their wet diapers/pull-up
• they wake up with dry diaper/pull-ups especially during the day (short naps)
• they say pee and poop
• they start to put up/down their pants 
• they are happy most of the time and there is nothing new happening and your child and you will have a stable condition/relationship/connection for a while

So, What's Next?
We know we are ready, the child is ready. What should we do now to go through this process happily and successfully?

Initial Stage (before training starts):

• Encourage the child's independence.e.g., to put on/take off their pants 
• Show them the difference between wet/dry
• Role model: We go to washroom several times of day, why don't we brag about it and announce it loudly. After coming out, again, explain to yourself or another person that your body is relived and your tommy is relaxed because of using the toilet and pee and poop that are gone to potty. Let children watch you going to the washroom and enjoy the weight off your shoulders. 

How to Avoid Power Struggle? It is all about giving choices that ends to what you want.

• Always have potty books handy in potty in a basket (ask children to pick one book at a time) and leave them there for privacy (and tell them about privacy in potty). "ok, I will leave you with your book. I will give you some privacy". 
• Set an alarm (it is more successful if you can agree with your child on one sound, children love the duck sound on the alarm clock).
• As soon as the alarm goes off, you go to your child, holding their hand and you take them to potty. After a couple successful trips, you just announce, "oh, ducky is telling us it is potty time, let's go".  If they do not want to come, don't give up and don't tell them that is ok, and that they will go another time. Instead you say, "I am right here to help you" and then give them options, "do you want to hop or jump toward potty?"

• Do not ask if their pee/poop is there. If they did not pee/poop and you know that it is the time, set another alarm without bringing it to your child's attention.
• Please stay away from asking your child yes/no Qs (what are we expecting to hear from a toddler? Most probably is a big NO):

         - do you want to go potty?
         - can you go potty?
        - would you make me happy and go to potty? (Child's body should be happy after using potty not another person's!)

Second Stage (children have an idea of potty and their wet/dry diaper)

• Use diapers or pull-ups for the first weeks as it makes a mess and you will get tired (no need to go straight to training underwear; keep that excitement for the next stage).
• Do not wait in potty by their side and do not let children sit on the potty forever. Five to eight min is maximum. If they are waiting for poop, a couple of deep breaths might help (they can have a water bottle to blow air in it).
• After you see the dry diapers/pull-ups for a couple of days, you might want to go for training underwear. They absorb water and you won't have pee on the floor or poop every where in case of accidents.

​Useful Note:

• The intervals should be at first around half an hour to 45 min. For some children it might be around two hours. You decide about the timing of using potty based on your dry/wet pants/diapers.

By implementing these strategies any child who has normal development could finish potty learning within a couple of months (3-4 months).

You want to give it a try?
Go for it. Best of luck and remember to share your experience with other caregivers here.